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Movies I’ve Seen This Year (2018)   Leave a comment

All the movies I’ve seen this year.

  • January
    • Sully (2016) – Based on the true story of Captain Sully’s emergency landing of the commercial jet in the Hudson river.
    • Season of the Witch (2011) – Nicolas Cage as a knight during the 14th century Crusades in a town ravaged by the Black Plague. Evil is involved.
    • Carrie (2013) – Chloë Grace Moretz as Carrie in this remake. It was OK.
  • February
    • The Death Cure (Maze Runner) (2018) – The last book in the trilogy. This took a while to be released because the lead actor was in an accident. No more mazes. Only a cure.
    • Brimstone (2016) – A frontier woman turns fugitive when she is wrongly accused of a crime she didn’t commit and is hunted by a vengeful preacher. Stars Dakota Fanning, Guy Pearce, and Kit Harington.
    • Trolls (2016) – An original story based on the Troll dolls. Also has a “Happy” like song by Justin Timberlake (Can’t Stop the Feeling)
    • The Cloverfield Paradox [Netflix] (2018) – A space movie with very little in common with the Cloverfield movie. An alternate universe is bleeding into the other in space and they have to save each other. Also, they worked in very small details on the plot of Cloverfield into the story just because. Cash grab, to be honest.
    • Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) – A sequel to the original movie. Since kids don’t play board games anymore, the Jumanji board game adapted and created a videogame of itself. Stars The Rock and Kevin Hart.
    • Cars 3 (2017) – Lightning McQueen races one last time… maybe.
    • Black Panther (2018) – Not really an origin story for Black Panther. More of a “How can you stay still and isolate your entire country to the rest of the world knowing all the atrocities happening to everyone and you have the means and resources to help? What do you do?” Also, there’s a bad guy. It’s like a different take on The Lion King, except it’s superheroes and panthers.
    • Life (2017) – A space movie where they discover life on Mars, brings it onboard their space station. Now they have to fight for their lives and prevent the creature from reaching Earth.
    • Hell or High Water (2016) – a rancher and his ex-convict brother rob a bank as vengeance. A cop is on their trail. Stars Chris Pines and Jeff Bridges.
    • All Eyez on Me (2017) – Based on Tupac’s life story.
  • March
    • A Wrinkle in Time (2018) – Based on the book of the same name. I fell asleep on this in theaters. Rewatched it later. I feel the movie was lacking. I get what the director was trying to do, but they stripped away the Christian message in the book. That really hurt and pacing.
    • Fullmetal Alchemist [Live Action] (2017) – Bad. Do not watch.
    • Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) – Story was all over the place. Cash grab. Nice nod to previous actors in the series, but it’s probably not salvageable.
    • Ready Player One (2018) – In the future, people are glued to virtual reality. When there is no outlook in real life, the OASIS is their escape. The creator hid an easter egg in the game. Whoever finds it will own the company.
  • April
    • A Quiet Place (2018) – Alien creatures with thick exoskeletons and super hearing have taken over the world. One family survives by scavenging anywhere while remaining quiet.
    • War of the Planet of the Apes (2017) – The third movie on the new Planet of the Apes series. The virus that has killed off most of humanity has evolved.
    • Avengers: Infinity Wars (2018) – Everything that Marvel Studios has been planning since 2008’s Iron Man has culminated into this movie. They are finally facing off the big bad guy in the Marvel Cinematic Universe: Thanos. He plans to wipe out half the life in the universe to combat overpopulation. The Avengers team up with everyone, including the Guardians of the Galaxy.
    • Unforgettable (2017) – Stalker movie starring Rosario Dawson and Katherine Heigl.
    • Wolves at the Door (2016) – Based on the Manson Family murders.
  • May
    • Deadpool 2 (2018) – The sequel. Deadpool must save a mutant kid from a time-traveler trying to kill him. Hilarity ensues as always.
    • Ghost in the Shell (2017) – Live action versions of anime normally are bad and don’t do well. No difference here. In the near future, Major is the first of her kind: a human who is cyber-enhanced to be a perfect soldier devoted to stopping the world’s most dangerous criminals. When terrorism reaches a new level that includes the ability to hack into people’s minds and control them, Major is uniquely qualified to stop it. As she prepares to face a new enemy, Major discovers that her life was stolen instead of saved. Now, she will stop at nothing to recover her past while punishing those who did this to her.
    • Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) – A standalone Star Wars Story about the beginnings of Han Solo. Great cast. Bad script.
    • Atomic Blonde (2017) – Based on a graphic novel. Lorraine Broughton is the most elite spy in MI6, an agent who’s willing to use all of her lethal skills to stay alive during an impossible mission. With the Berlin Wall about to fall, she travels into the heart of the city to retrieve a priceless dossier and take down a ruthless espionage ring. Once there, she teams up with an embedded station chief to navigate her way through the deadliest game of spies. Has some good action.
  • June
    • The Greatest Showman (2017) – Stars Hugh Jackman as P.T. Barnum and how the circus came to be. It’s a musical that took several years in the making.
    • Pitch Perfect 3 (2017) – Cash grab. Weak plot. Okay music. Closes out the franchise on a mediocre note.
    • Downsize (2017) – Scientist discovered a way to shrink people, reducing their carbon footprint. People follow suit and live in downsize communities. Stars Matt Damon. Cool concept.
  • July
    • Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018) – Cash grab for the original movie. The Kaiju haven’t left apparently.
    • Monster Hunt 2 (2018) – I saw this on the flight to the Philippines. It’s the sequel to Monster Hunt (I haven’t seen it) about a baby monster separated from it’s parents. Stuff happens. Cool special FX.
    • Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) – Ant-Man tool a plea deal after the events of Captain America: Civil War. He’s under house-arrest and only a few days away from being free until he sees a vision of the quantum realm. Hope van Dyne visits (read as kidnap) Ant-Man to pick his brain on the quantum realm. Also bad guys.
    • The LEGO NINJAGO Movie (2017) – Based on the LEGO NINJAGO series of toys, Lloyd is the green ninja and must defend NINJAGO from his evil father.
    • Mission Impossible: Fallout (2018) – This movie is the reason why Superman’s mouth looks so weird in Justice League. Henry Cavill was under contract and couldn’t shave his mustache for his role in the movie. Also, Tom Cruise hurt is knee during a stunt. This is why Marvel requires their actors to have stunt doubles. No ifs or buts about it. Anywho, Tom Cruise tries to save the world again after the government sort of betrays him again.
  • August
    • Inglourious Basterds (2009) – British and American soldiers conspire with German spies to rich Hitler in World War II. Nominated for numerous awards. One of Quentin Tarantino’s best films, next to Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2.
    • Mary and the Witch’s Flower (2018) – A girl finds a flower in the forest, which leads her to a witch’s broom, unlocking her powers, discovering a new world for witches.
    • Ex Machina (2015) – A tech-billionaire invites a low-level employee from his company to his private home in Alaska, introducing him to his top-secret research on artificial intelligence with a human-like android. Things get real.
    • Crazy Rich Asians (2018) – Based on the novel of a New York economics teacher who travels to Singapore with his boyfriend for a wedding. It turns out his boyfriend is old-money rich. Her arrival is unwanted by the elites and his family. Best romantic comedy this year. I highly recommend.
  • September
    • Bleach [Live Action] (2018) – Unlike other anime live adaptations, this one is actually good. They kept the plot simple and focused on the first arc in the manga. That allowed them to refine the story and fighting choreography. Huge potential for future sequel. If you’re a fan of anime and action sequences, I recommend this movie.
    • Next Gen (2018) – It’s not a typical kid’s CG movie. They don’t shy away from heavy subject matter (like death). Has a good message.
    • The Predator (2018) – It’s considered a sequel to all the Predator movies that have been released so far (excluding the Alien/Predator crossovers). Mix action and comedy, unlike the original and Predator 2.
    • Geostorm (2017) – A company has mastered the weather with numerous satellites deployed around the world to produce rain, snow, artificial sunlight/darkness, and maybe wind. But something is wrong with the computer that controls it all and causing calamities in various locations worldwide. 
    • The Shape of Water (2017) – Sometime after World War II, US scientists somehow found a fishman in the Amazon. It’s a love story.
  • October
    • Venom (2018) – Based Spider-Man’s arch-nemesis (one of them), the symbiote “Venom” attaches itself to Tom Hardy’s Eddie Brock. It’s an anti-hero comic book film.
    • Rings (2017) – The sequel that never should have happened. The same scary girl that comes out of the TV and turns your face all bent out and shape and scary after 7 days.
  • November
    • Overlord (2018) – During World War II, a team of US soldiers on a secret mission in a small town in France discovered a castle operated by Nazis, performing experiments on the locals. What they found will shock you.
    • Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald (2018) – Warner Bros. is developing their “Wizarding World” shared universe because the DC Expanded Universe is tanking. But they’re on a rough start. What’s supposed to be a Fantastic Beast story about Newt Scamander has now turned into a backstory for Dumbledore and Grindelwald. There was a lot of padded moments for me. We’ll see what happens in the next three movies.
    • Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018) – Ralph from Wreck-It Ralph travels to the Internet with Penelope to save her game. Really well done movie.
    • The Firm (1993) – An up and coming lawyer at a firm discovers the shady dealings that his law firm has been doing for years with their clients’ money. He’s targeted and must escape. Starring Tom Cruise. 
  • December
    • Rampage (2018) – Based on the videogame of the same name about a giant ape, wolf, and lizard destroying buildings and eating people except it stars The Rock and it’s about a gorilla, a wolf, and a crocodile coming into contact with a gene-altering agent.
    • How to Train Your Dragon (2010) – 2009-2012 time frame was bad for me. I was depressed and hating the world. So I missed out on this movie and it’s sequel. I watched it recently and it’s REALLY good. A tribe of Vikings have been fighting dragons all their lives. Then the chief’s son befriends a Night Fury dragon. 
    • How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014) – In this sequel, the tribe of Vikings now live among dragons. The chief’s son with Toothless, his Night Fury dragon, discover people capturing dragons. He must protect his tribe and their dragons.
    • Blockers (2018) – It’s a comedy about parents cockblocking their daughters during prom night. The movie has potential to be a classic like Superbad.
    • Tomb Raider (2018) – This version of Lara Croft follows closely the revamped version in the videogame, down to the story. I like it.
    • Aquaman (2018) – One of the better DC Expanded Universe movies. Aquaman is born from two worlds with his human father and Atlantean mother, Atlanna. In the present, his half brother plans to unite the kingdoms of the sea to wage war to the surface world. Aquaman will have to face his destiny in uniting the sea and the ground.
    • Mary Poppins Returns (2018) – The sequel to the original Mary Poppins, the kids are now older. A crisis brings Mary Poppins back to the Banks family.
    • Bird Box [Netflix] (2018) – A surprise hit for the holiday season. When a mysterious force decimates the population, only one thing is certain — if you see it, you die. The survivors must now avoid coming face to face with an entity that takes the form of their worst fears. Searching for hope and a new beginning, a woman and her children embark on a dangerous journey through the woods and down a river to find the one place that may offer sanctuary. To make it, they’ll have to cover their eyes from the evil that chases them — and complete the trip blindfolded.
    • The Mummy (2017) – Universal Pictures’ attempt at creating a shared movie universe, dubbed the Dark Universe, Tom Cruise must face and defeat this version of the mummy. The movie bombed in theaters, but they’re still planning to unite Dracula, the Mummy, the Wolf, the Invisible Man, Frankenstein’s Bride, and other Universal monsters.
    • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) – This is the best Spider-Man movie they’ve ever made. Spider-Man: Homecoming is part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but this Spider-Man movie is close to the comics version. Just like Peter Parker, teenager Miles Morales was also bitten by a radioactive spider. He gains spider abilities different from Peter Parker. However, the Kingpin is planning to open a portal into other universes. The multiverse is in danger. It’s up to Peter Parker, Miles Morales, and other Spider-Men from other universes to stop him. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS MOVIE.
    • Life of the Party (2018) – Melissa McCarthy plays a divorced mother going back to college with her daughter. It’s a funny comedy.

I’m done.

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Posted December 31, 2018 by StupidSystemus in Movies

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Movies I’ve Seen This Year (2017)   Leave a comment

Here are all the movies I’ve seen this year.

  • January 2017
    • Underworld: Blood War – Underwhelming. So so sequel to Underworld: Awakening. Selene now has new powers. Makes her faster and stronger than the mutated werewolves. Would watch again because Kate Beckinsale.
    • Burnt (2015) – Bradley Cooper is an American version of Gordon Ramsay making a comeback in the culinary world.
    • Resident Evil: The Final Chapter – Or is it? Humanity’s last stand, again, against zombies.
  • February 2017
    • Hidden Figures (2016) – Finally got to watch it this year. About the early days of NASA, the space race, and the black women who pioneered the field. Great cast and acting.
    • Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2011) – It’s a food documentary on the greatest sushi chef ever.
    • Crimson Peak (2015) – Missed it the first time around. It’s not really scary. Just artsy horror with campy plot.
    • John Wick: Chapter 2 – Over the top killing. I liked the first film for showing that people really do run out of bullets in a gunfight. They upped the kill count this time. Sequel might have more.
    • Don Jon (2013) – Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a porn-obsessed Italian-American Catholic who prefers porn than girlfriends. Has a convincing Jersey Shore accent.
  • March 2017
    • Logan – Wolverine’s swan song. One of the best movies to watch this year.
    • Kong: Skull Island – Kong is back to jumpstart Legendary Entertainment’s Monsterverse shared cinematic universe (Godzilla, King Kong, Mothra, etc.)
    • Kung Fury (2015) – This 30-minute homage to everything 80s backed by a successful Kickstarter campaign and David Hasselhoff did not disappoint.
    • TMNT: Out of the Shadows (2016) – Michael Bay gets a lot of flack for dumbing down beloved kids’ franchises, but this sequel follows the comic/cartoons more than original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Secret of Ooze sequel. Definitely made for kids, but I liked it growing up watching the original cartoons in the early 90s
    • Beauty and the Beast (2017) – This live action remake was great. Emma Watson played a wonderful Belle. The inside jokes probably glossed over most people’s heads (snowing in summer?), but not me.
    • Train to Busan (2016) – Korean zombie/outbreak movie set on a train on route to Busan. Some sad moments.
  • April 2017
    • Fate of the Furious – The eighth installment to the series, Vin Diesel turns against his comrades… his FAMILY. If you’re not a fan of the series, you can try to figure out if Diesel or The Rock were in the same room filming scenes throughout the entire movie or with green screen. Have fun.
    • Astro Boy (2009) – I missed a lot of movies sometime in college and the dreadful 2-3 years after. You’re never too old to watch kids movie. Some sad scenes. Not Disney/Pixar sad, but sad.
    • Kubo and the Two Strings (2016) – The only other stop motion movie I like is the Nightmare Before Christmas. Kubo and the Two Strings blends practical stop motion with computer graphics seamlessly. They also upped the frame rate for the stop motion scenes compared to other movies. Great story. Recommended.
  • May 2017
    • Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) – raunchy comedy loosely based on a true story of two rich dudes who went on TV to find wedding dates for their sister’s wedding.
    • Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2 – The sequel focused on character building, relationships, and some background story. I can’t wait for Infinity War.
    • Finding Dory (2016) – This is how sequels should be done. We get some background on Dory’s past and still cry about it.
    • The Man Who Knew Infinity (2016) – Based on the true story of a mathematical genius who taught himself math and just understood mathematical concepts that scholars in his day could not prove. I truly believe some people are touched by a higher power.
    • The Bank Job (2008) – Jason Statham for some reason does not play his usual ass-kicking self in this based on a true story bank heist that uncovered blackmail material for/from the rich and famous in Europe. I liked it.
    • Alien: Covenant – I already knew this was going to a sequel to Prometheus, but this time they tell us the true origin of the xenomorphs.
    • Chef (2014) – Chef ruins career. Buys a food truck and travels by doing what he loves. Great feel good movie. Plus good cooking scenes. Did I mention this is a movie about food?
    • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales – Sometimes a franchise needs to end on a high note. While this wasn’t it, it’s probably the last movie. You can only act drunk and come out unscathed in chase scenes so many times before it gets boring.
  • June 2017
    • Wonder Woman – This sets the bar for a DC comic movie. It actually sends the wrong message to kids that future DC movies will be good.
    • The Accountant (2016) – Ben Affleck is the accountant. He’s in the autism spectrum and high-functioning. Also kicks ass and does crazy stuff in the background.
    • Cars 2 (2011) – This is how sequels should not be done. Of all the Pixar sequels, this is my least favorite.
    • The Ninth Gate (1999) – early Johnny Depp movie where he finds a book supposedly owned by Satan and opens the ninth gate to hell. Suspense. Thriller.
  • July 2017
    • The Boss (2016) – Melissa McCarthy is the boss. If you’ve seen her other movies, then this should be similar.
    • Despicable Me 3 – Gru has a brother and he must fight a villain who’s stuck in the 80s mindset. Fun movie.
    • Spider-Man: Homecoming – The third reboot of the Spider-Man franchise in theaters, this did not disappoint. I’m just biased because it connects Spider-Man to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
    • Fifty Shades of Black (2016) – I rarely see parody movies in theaters anymore. This is why I don’t.
    • Riddick (2013) – A movie that only fans of Pitch Black, and Chronicles of Riddick would like. The movie was made for next to nothing and made money. A fourth sequel has been greenlit.
    • Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016) – Tom Cruise is back as Jack Reacher. There’s a conspiracy and he must save the day.
  • August 2017
    • The Dark Tower – Based on the Stephen King series, I could best describe it a darker version of the Chronicles of Narnia. This movie is meant to be a teen sci-fi type of movie.
    • Snowden (2016) – An exaggerated dramatization of the events that made Snowden leak government secrets with special guest, Snowden.
    • Keeping Up with the Joneses (2016) – They probably made this movie as an excuse to see Gal Gadot half-naked in sexy lingerie and make out with Isla Fisher. The Joneses are Mr. and Mrs. Smith in the movie.
    • The Hitman’s Bodyguard – A buddy-cop/crime movie with Deadpool and Nick Fury.
    • The Secret Life of Pets (2016) – It’s a 3D animated movie on what pets do when humans are not around.
    • Sing (2016) – Anthropomorphic animals compete in an America’s Got Talent style competition created to save an old theater.
    • How to Be Single (2016) -A fun romantic comedy with Dakota Johnson, Rebel Wilson, Alison Brie, and Leslie Mann.
  • September 2017
    • IT (2017) – Based on the Stephen King novel and a remake of the TV movie of the same name in 1990, a demonic clown terrorizes children in this small Maine town. They must band together to solve the mystery behind the disappearances and whatever “IT” is.
    • The Time Traveler’s Wife (2009) – Eric Bana has a medical condition where he randomly jumps through time. From his family’s perspective, he’s living his life out of order. It’s a romantic science fiction drama.
    • Kingsman: The Golden Circle – The first movie was based on an graphic novel of the same name and that movie ended where the source ended. So I was surprised with this one. This time they have the Statesmen with them. Kind of the same plot.
    • Outlander (2008) – It’s supposed to be a sci-fi version of Beowulf. A mysterious alien crash lands in ancient Europe, bringing with it an alien monster attacking people. He befriends the natives and lives with them.
    • American Made – Based on the true story of the US Government’s involvement with drug-trafficking in South America and how one man made it happen, exporting the drugs to the US and as an informant to the government.
  • October 2017
    • Why Him (2016) – James Franco and Heisenberg. It’s a romantic cringe comedy.
    • Master of Drunken Fist: Beggar So (2016) – Another origin story of the birth of the Drunken Fist. It’s hong kong martial arts.
    • Blade Runner 2049 – The long awaited sequel that kept its slow-burn pacing, sounds, and style. And because it kept all of that, you hardly see any minorities in the movie. Woman are used mainly as props in the story. It’s a dystopian Los Angeles.
    • The Layover – Didn’t see it in theaters, but someone uploaded it on YouTube so I watched it for free. Best friends and roommates go on vacation and try to win over some dude on the plane they both like. Spoiler alert: hilarity ensues. It’s meh.
    • The Foreigner – Jackie Chan in a serious role you rarely get to see in his films. Based on the book (The Chinaman), a man seeks justice for the death of his daughter from a bombing orchestrated by a terrorist organization with links to the government.
    • Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (2016) – Tina Fey plays a journalist who takes an onsite assignment during the early days of the Middle East occupation of US troops. Based on a true story. Comedy-Drama.
    • Fifty Shades Darker – There are better porn than this movie that you can watch for free. The outrageous plot and cringe-worthy dialogue is worth it, though.
  • November 2017
    • Thor: Ragnarok – After the success of Deadpool and The Guardians of the Galaxy, the third Thor sequel completely retooled what they were gonna do with the series and turned it into an ensemble cast movie with lots of comedy. It just works. Great sequel.
    • Split – Didn’t see this one in theaters, but they’re showing it now on premium cable. James McAvoy has 20+ personalities. Several of which are in a cult of sorts who thinks that damaged people are the pure and believes in another entity with superhuman strength and powers. It has direct ties to Unbreakable (2000).
    • No Escape (2015) – In this day and age, these types of movies are polarizing in portraying what could happen to white people in foreign countries if they overstep their boundaries and, pretty much, promoting xenophobia.
    • Get Out – A social-thriller. A social-commentary. A “documentary.” This movie shows what many people think as harmless statements, actions, attitudes towards black people to be anything but.
    • The LEGO Batman Movie – Batman from The LEGO Movie in his own movie in LEGO form. What more could you want?
    • The Great Wall (2016) – What was intended as China’s way of breaking into the US film industry, The Great Wall was marred by political correctness and misplaced outrage. I wrote about it here: Is it Whitewashing?
    • A United Kingdom (2016) – Based on the true story of Botswana’s prince taking a white English woman for a wife, causing political and regional turmoil in South Africa and Great Britain. It’s a great movie.
  • December 2017
    • Saban’s Power Rangers – Didn’t see it in theaters and it was a good decision. This whole making-everything-dark trope of remaking movies is getting old. Goldar looked much better in the original series. The goldar here is just liquid gold clumping together. The Green Ranger became Rita Repulsa. The Mastodon zord has 8 legs. What the hell?!?!
    • Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi – Some fans love it. Some hate it. Critics love it. I love it. It was an hour too long, though. Snoke is a Porg.
    • Jane Wants A Boyfriend (2015) – An aspiring theater actor wants to control everything around her, including finding a boyfriend for her sister, Jane, who has Asperger’s. I like the cast. Also have a crush on Louisa Krause, but that’s beside the point.
    • Bright – Lord of the Rings meets Training Day. This Netflix movie was generally panned by critics, but if you’re a millennial like me who consumes all sorts of entertainment, especially the supernatural/sci-fi/fantasy kind, you’ll enjoy this movie. A sequel is in the works.
    • Coco – Disney Pixar’s last entry for the year, Coco follows a young boy who wants to know more about his roots. He is swept away into the world of the dead, during the Day of the Dead, and must find a way back into the living world so he doesn’t stay dead. I call this the Mexican Spirited Away, but it’s really not. Pixar never disappoints. I cried like a baby. The best movie I’ve seen all year. I highly recommend it.
    • The Boss Baby – Now available on Netflix, it’s a 3D animated kids movie. Lighthearted and fun.
    • The Revengers Squad – It’s a Filipino movie. I shouldn’t have watched. It’s corny and was really a waste of time. I should have watched Jumanji.
    • Office Christmas Party (2016) – This was a nice palate cleanser to end the year. Watching it on HBO.

I’m done.

Posted December 29, 2017 by StupidSystemus in Movies

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Movies I’ve Seen This Year (2016)   Leave a comment

Here are all the movies I’ve seen this year.

  • January 2016
    • Boruto: The Movie (2015) – This is the last Naruto movie after the series ended in the manga. It takes place in the future with Naruto, now as Hokage, and his son is trying to gain his affection. I’m kind of glad that they will have a new series after this.
    • The Hundred-Foot Journey (2014) –  A young aspiring chef and his Indian family living in London moves to France for a fresh start, opens a restaurant 1oo feet away from an established Michelin 1-Star French cuisine restaurant owned by Helen Mirren’s character. It’s a movie that makes you think if this is what happens behind the scenes in various Food Network personalities.
    • Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) – I held off on watching this movie. It’s not a remake of the original Mad Max. It’s a new adventure with out of this world characters, in a world where water is scarce.
    • Kung Fu Panda 3 – They said this is the last Kung Fu Panda movie. I recommend it
  • February 2016
    • Deadpool – The surprise hit that made Fox and Warner Bros. reevaluate how they adapt comic book movies for the big screen. Deadpool is about a mercenary who is diagnosed with terminal cancer and undergoes a secret procedure from some shady people who just wanted to experiment on him to see if injecting Wolverine’s blood and stress testing his body will awaken any powers… and it did, but his whole body is badly scarred.Note: Deadpool is a mutate. Not a mutant. Mutants are born with their powers. Mutates gain their power through genetic manipulation. Other Mutates in the Marvel universe is Captain America and the Hulk.
  • March 2016
    • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice – The fans are split with this movie, but I like it. The premise is that Bruce Wayne (Batman) was on Metropolis when Superman fought General Zod. Many buildings were toppled, including Bruce Wayne’s building and killed many people. That’s why Batman doesn’t trust Superman. Lex Luthor knows this and basically eggs them on for this fight. Also, Wonder Woman shows up… and The Flash, Aquaman, Cyborg in surveillance videos.
  • April 2016
    • The Jungle Book – I went to see this live adaptation of the Jungle Book with no expectations. That made this movie much better. They captured the Jungle Book story. There’s probably a sequel in the works.
    • Terminator: Genisys (2015) – The 3rd reboot for the franchise after Terminator: Salvation and Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. The premise is that in the future, Kyle Reese was sent by John Connor to save Sarah Conor, during his send off, something went wrong and he ends up in an alternate timeline of the past where Sarah Connor knows about the Terminators because she was saved by a T-800 (Arnold Schwartzenegger) when she was 9 years old from a T-1000.
  • May 2016
    • Selma (2014) – Great movie. Sad at the same time. It’s one of those movies where you want to look away from the screen from the brutality shown, but you have to push through because that is what really happened.
    • Captain America: Civil War – This 3rd movie in the Captain America franchise is loosely based on the Civil War story in Marvel comics. In the comics, a reality-TV show about superpowered people ends up destroying an entire neighborhood, killing many people. This prompts the government to create a Superhuman Registration Act to have superpowered individuals register their names and report their powers to the government. Captain America was against this. Iron Man supports it. Almost every Marvel super powered characters (except the X-Men) fought including villains.In this movie, the premise is sort of the same: because of the devastation caused by the Avengers, the government intervened to create the Sokovia Accords (basically the registration Act). Captain America is against it. Iron Man is for it. All of the current members of the Avengers fought. All 9 of them + Spider-Man and Ant-Man. It was more friends having a disagreement than anything.
    • The Intern (2015) – Robert DeNiro becomes an intern for Anne Hathaway’s company. Robert DeNiro drops life lessons for the overworked Anne Hathaway. I think it’s a feel good movie. No real villains.
    • X-Men: Apocalypse – Another movie that’s loosely based on the comics that it was based on. The comics was pivotal for many kids my age who read them at the time because no other crossover storyline could ever top it. My friend stopped reading comics after it. Apocalypse is such a powerful character and a force to be reckoned with in the comics. The movie version? Not so much.
    • The Gambler (2014) – Mark Wahlberg is a gambling addict. Wrongs the wrong people. Must atone for them.
    • The D Train (2015) – Jack Black, as the head of high school graduating class’ alumni committee, invites their prom king. He ends up being obsessed with him. Hilarity ensues.
  • June 2016
    • Now You See Me 2 – This sequel tried to outdo the original movie about 4 people (illusionists, hypnotists, cards manipulator, escape artist) who became the 4 horsemen of magicians. It succeeded in all respects, but it felt like a drag (slow start with everything happening towards the end)
    • Warcraft – Based on the game franchise. It tells the story of when Humans and Orcs first met and why they are fighting with each other.
    • The Conjuring 2 – Scary movie. This time it looks like a nun.
    • Spy (2015) – Melissa McCarthy is a B-grade spy doing a top-rank assignment. It’s actually better than her last few movies.
  • July 2016
    • Zootopia – Anthropomorphic animals (mainly mammals) live along side each other until some animals started going feral. It’s up to a fox and a bunny to find out why.
    • The Good Dinosaur (2015) – I missed watching this movie the first time around. Dinosaurs were not wiped out by a meteor. They lived on to become farmers and herders. Humans are critters.
    • Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015) – In this sequel, the characters are out of the maze and now they know more of the world out there.I think the dystopian teen science fiction novels are losing steam at this point. There’s one more movie after this one, which is indefinitely on hold (tentative release date of 2018).
    • Ip Man (2008) – It’s the story of Bruce Lee’s mentor and how he overcame the Japanese occupation during World War II.
    • Adoration (2013) – This movie was weird. Two childhood best friends grow up as friends. They end up sleeping with each others’ adult sons.
    • Star Trek: Beyond – This is the best Star Trek movie to date. It was a great movie overall even without the Star Trek name.
    • Jason Bourne – Matt Damon is back as Jason Bourne and the government is after him again because he holds secrets about his past and the government that they don’t want exposed.
    • Project Almanac (2015) – Teen discovers how to time travel using his dad’s research found in the attic.
  • August 2016
    • Sleeping With Other People (2015) – A Jason Sudeikis and Alison Brie rom com. What more could you possibly want?
    • Suicide Squad – A jumbled mess of a comic book movie. The only reason this really did well is because they had Will Smith and advertised the hell out of the new version of The Joker and sneaking in Ben Affleck’s Batman in several scenes of the movie.
    • Dragon Blade (2015) – A Jackie Chan movie set in the past. He protects the princess and ends up uniting warring tribes.
    • The Boy and the Best (2015) – If you like Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and Summer Wars, you’ll like this movie about a boy who gets lost and ends up in the Spirit realm and befriends a beast who trains him.
    • Addicted (2014) – Woman is a sex addict. She cheats on her husband with two different people. They find out. Fight ensues. She gets into an accident. Goes to rehab. Atones. Redemption.
  • September 2016
    • The Lifeguard (2013) – Kristen Bell is a 30-something living in NY who moves back to her home after breaking up with her boss. She is reaquainted with her high school friends. She also meets a new friend who is in high school and ends up sleeping with them. Overall, the movie is more on self-indulgence and drowning in self-pity. I think many in my generation (younger than me) can relate, I guess.
    • Daddy’s Home (2015) – Will Ferrell is the stepfather and he meets the kids’ birth father, Mark Wahlberg. They fight for their affection and affirmation.
    • Trainwreck (2015) – I don’t remember how this movie ended. I was sleepy.
    • Sisters (2015) – Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are sisters and their parents left them their old home for house sitting. It’s a comedy.
  • October 2016
    • The Water Diviner (2014) – Russel Crowe is a water diviner looking for his son in Turkey. He befriends mother and his kid. He finds his son. Goes back to the mother and they hint that she is into him.
    • Definitely, Maybe (2008) – I didn’t see this movie the first time around. Ryan Reynolds is getting a divorce. He tells the story to his daughter of how he met her mother, but he winds up telling her all the women he’s met. His daughter figures out who her mother is and they are still getting a divorce. All she wants is for his dad to be happy.
    • Swimfan (2002) – If you’re wondering why I have all these random movies from different years in the past, I have the premium channels package on Verizon and when I’m bored I end up watching a movie like Swimfan, which is kind of like the remake of The Fan with Robert DeNiro, except the fan in this movie is a girl.
    • The Forest – It’s based on the suicide forest in Japan (Aokigahara) where many people go to kill themselves (54 in 2010). In the movie, a woman goes to Japan in search of her twin sister who disappeared and was last seen entering the forest.
    • Gods of EgyptRead my take here
    • Inferno – Based on the Dan Brown novel, Robert Langdon wakes up in the hospital in Italy with an apparent gunshot wound that grazed his head. Trying to make sense of things, he discovers that a billionaire transhumanist created a virus that could wipe out humanity. He must find all the clues to find the location of the virus bomb before it explodes.
  • November 2016
    • Bad Teacher (2011) – Cameron Diaz is a bad teacher. It’s like Bad Santa, but a teacher and a semi-relevant plot. Also stars Justin Timberlake after they were already broken up.
    • Doctor Strange – The latest Marvel movie to date. Doctor Strange focus on the magical/mystical aspect of the Marvel universe. First we knew of people with superpowers. Then there were machine-enhanced humans. Then we have mutates/mutants. Then we have aliens and gods. Now they show the magical side of Marvel.
    • Children Who Chase Lost Voices (2011) – I have not finished this movie. I fell asleep when it came on Adult Swim.
    • Calendar Girls (2003) – middle aged women in England decided to pose naked in a calendar for a cancer benefit.
    • Up Close and Personal (1996) – Robert Redford and Michelle Pfeiffer. An oldie, but a goodie.
    • Arrival – The best sci-fi movie this year. Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner investigate a mysterious pod with aliens in them who touched down on earth. There are twelve of them around the world.
    • Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – We’re finally back in the world of Harry Potter. This time, the story takes place in America in 1926. Newt Scamander has not published his book yet. Something is killing wizards and nomaj (non-magic people).
    • The Divergent Series: Allegiant – This movie is so different from the last two movies in the franchise. I think the fans just gave up. Also, there’s supposed to be a 4th movie and they’re planning to turn it into a series.
    • Straight Outta Compton (2015) – The story on how Dr. Dre, Eazy-E, and Ice Cube started NWA, their struggles, their right and wrong choices, and what they are now.
  • December 2016
    • Moana – Disney’s 2nd attempt, after Lilo & Stitch, of showcasing Polynesian heritage and what they’ve learned in their studies. Great soundtrack from Lin-Manuel Miranda.
    • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story – This is the prequel that needed to be told, which jumpstarted the events in Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope.
    • Midnight Special – It’s an homage to Spielberg movies. A man, his friend, and his son is on the run from a cult and the government who wants to experiment on his son. His son has powers.
    • Self/Less (2015) – Ben Kingsley is a dying rich man who undergoes an experimental procedure to place his mind on a younger Ryan Reynolds body so he can live forever. Only problem is Ryan Reynolds’ body is not a test tube body and is actually from a real person and he starts remembering past events.
    • Passenger – Chris Pratt wakes up 90 years too early on the ship’s journey to a new colony planet. Jennifer Lawrence wakes up as well and they’re the only two people awake in the ship. Hilarity ensues.
    • Assassin’s Creed – Based on the successful Ubisoft franchise with great storytelling, this movie is none of those. Bland static characters that you can’t get attached to. Worst movie I’ve seen this year even though I like the videogame series.
    • The Late Bloomer – I needed a palate cleanser after Assassin’s Creed. Netflix to the rescue. It’s about a therapist who finds out he has a brain tumor that’s nesting near the pituitary gland, which preventive him from going through puberty. After surgery, he’s goes through puberty at an accelerated speed. Stuff happens.

I’m done.

Posted December 31, 2016 by StupidSystemus in Movies

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Currently Watching: Gods of Egypt   1 comment

This movie is not that bad. I admit, seeing the trailers for it earlier this year was out of left field, but it’s a solid flick similar to The Mummy franchise. The only difference is that the characters are Egyptian gods instead of Brendan Frazier and mummies. Oh… and there’s also that backlash for having mostly white actors playing Egyptian gods.

Sidebar: It’s becoming pretty common and more frequent than ever before for people to raise a stink about anything. The Internet has made it easier. This movie definitely deserves the ire of the masses. Having said that, this movie is an easy target, artistic license and all. The real injustices of the world are hiding in plain sight from arm chair activist, out of reach.

For some reason, everyone in the movie spoke a distinct British English-ish accent, more commonly found in period movies to show this is set in the past. Gerard Butler, playing as the god Set, just went with his Scottish accent.

It was nice seeing a movie based on non-Greek mythology. They touched on the Egyptian creation mythology with the Sun god Ra riding his winged airship high up in the sky dragging a huge ball of fire (the Sun) on a flat Ancient Egypt and keeping Apophis, The ancient Egyptian deity embodying chaos, at bay every night with his trust staff that shoots lava laser. You can definitely see the parallels this has on Greek mythology and ideas/concepts that western religion borrowed (the dead souls must face a row of judges and the head judge, where their life is put on a balance, before they live in immortality in the afterlife).

Cultural appropriation and white washing aside, I liked this movie for what it is: A summer blockbuster shown in February with great potential and poor execution.

Spoiler Alert: Gerard Butler is the bad guy.

I’m done.

Posted October 23, 2016 by StupidSystemus in Rant

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