Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

Only One Floor Away   Leave a comment

Can’t fully process my emotions right now. I know I would be transferring to another contract, but I didn’t think it would be so soon. My last day with my current project is this Friday. I start orientation for the new contract Monday. Completely caught off guard by this. I thought it would be next month or sometime in August.

– Happy/Excited for the new opportunity and challenges.

– Grateful for my managers for the opportunity and trusting me with our work, promoting over the years to a leadership position.

– Overwhelmed/stressed for transitioning my programs within your project, a really sped up knowledge transfer and communicating it to our client.

– Sad cause I’m leaving my team. I really like them.

It’s been a good two and a half years watching our team grow from 7 people to 20, to 55, to 30.

Good thing is I’m only one floor away, literally.


Posted April 26, 2018 by StupidSystemus in Personal

Birthday Weekend   Leave a comment

Eight years ago on my birthday weekend, I was snowed in with my mom. We shoveled out of the driveway on my birthday. My dad was on call at work to help neighborhoods affected by the snow. Sibling One was at their apartment and Sibling Two in college in the dorm. We celebrated my birthday on a Friday that week after the snow storm.

It was raining the whole weekend. Watched Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle with mom and dad. It held the number one spot at the box office four weeks in a row. We joked it was a sign that we should watch the movie after avoiding it and watching other bad movies instead.

Two weeks prior, Sibling Two treated the family to Iron Age, a Korean BBQ buffet grill. To keep it different, we celebrated my birthday at Seasons 52 with their rotating seasonal and calorie friendly menu. Went home to blow out the candles on my birthday cake and opened my gifts.

It’s been a tradition with my family to send an Amazon wishlist of gift suggestions prior to our birthdays or Christmas. My dad is more carefree and is content with Best Buy gift cards. At lowest priority, I put down the LEGO® NASA Apollo Saturn V set. Parents bought it 🙂


At 1969 pieces, this will the biggest set I’ve ever built when I get to it.

Overall, it’s been a chill birthday weekend. Just as I like it.

I’m done.

Posted February 12, 2018 by StupidSystemus in Personal

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Bad Dreams Again   2 comments

Just woke up from a bad dream. Tired so went to sleep early, but now up. Hate how dreams are litmus tests sometimes on how you would react to a situation and it’s so awful. I went through this years before my father died when he was already sick and gets hospitalized for complications.

Anyway, the dream started with me staying late at work. Had my co-workers there, too. The sky gets dark and the clouds started swirling and dipping closer to the ground. Ran back inside and it was a full-blown storm-like scenario with tornadoes everywhere. For some reason, the dark clouds have some sort of lint, or possibly candy, confetti in each cloud hump. A lot of thing went haywire, including a man who serviced my car and made it pink after the storm.

Was walking around the area in the dream and three teen-looking kids walk towards in a coordinated move to steal something. One of them purposely tried grab the wallet on the right pants pocket. The other, swipe car keys on the left. Moved around, looked at them, and yelled no. They were pretty happy with what they did. Went to my car and the key wouldn’t work. The whole hunt was replaced with rubber. The car wasn’t mine as well with sticker decals. This was the part get made me anxious in the dream. Tried reviewing how the keys were swiped. Then thought about everything that needs to be replaced.

Still had my wallet so I was fine. It was the car itself and possibly my smart phone in the car.

It was also then I realized I’m in a dream and I forced myself to wake up by yelling. So glad it was a dream. Combination of last week’s weather, car in the shop for repairs, and the show “The Chi” might have something to do about it.

I’m done.

Posted January 22, 2018 by StupidSystemus in Personal

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Triggered Memory   Leave a comment

The story about the British lady having rocks thrown at her by a Nepalese tea shop lady for 50/150 rupees black tea dispute triggered an old memory I had when I was in Senior kindergarten (6 years old) in 1990. It’s all I’m thinking about now and I can’t sleep, so I might as well write them down while it’s still vivid.

It was after school in the Philippines in the afternoon and our nanny picked us up. Before heading home, I would stop by the vendors outside the school and buy candy or other stuff with my allowance. I had saved up enough coins from my allowances to have a 10 Philippine Peso bill that I exchanged with my mom. I bought a snack worth 2.50 and expected a 7.50 change. The lady vendor gave me 2.50 as change. I told her I gave her 10.00, but she just looked at me and said I gave her 5.00, I ran to my nanny and told her what happened. One of the school security guard got involved, but there was no proof. The vendor pocketed my money. Everyone just assumed I made a mistake, gave the lady 5.00 instead of 10.00. All these adults looking at me thinking I was lying. I felt so humiliated and cried.

That was probably the first instance I had my trust in people broken. Looking back at it now, several mannerisms, how I act, attitudes, they can probably be traced back to that incident.

I avoided buying from that vendor for the 6 years onward I went to school. If I did, I made sure that lady wasn’t attending their table. I told my younger sister to be careful when buying from them and avoid paying bills higher than a 5.00 (the lowest circulated bill in the Philippines at the time). Over the years I learned that the security guard that got involved is their family (the vendor lady’s husband). So even if there was proof that time, there’s probably nothing we could have done. They also don’t have set prices.

One time in 3rd grade, the security guard was off-duty without his uniform and tending the sales at their vending site (maybe he was no longer a security guard, but I didn’t care). They were frozen chocolate milk bars and I bought it for 2.50. I told my younger sister, now in 2nd grade, that they were selling it for that amount. When she went to the vendor, the guy increased the price and said it was 2.75 when I just bought minutes earlier. She paid more than me.

Like seriously, FUCK!! Over the years, I even convinced myself to let it go because they are poor and trying to make ends meet and would pull that shit. So I started buying from them again in 4th grade even if the lady was tending the sales, but still avoided her as much as possible or paying over bills higher than 5.00.

Then the one time in 6th grade I stopped caring for a second and paid the lady a 20.00 bill for an item, expecting over 15.00 in change, that same lady short-changes me, hands me a 5.00 and some change. In my mind I was like THIS AGAIN????

I looked at her with an annoyed face and said “I gave you 20.”

She said “no, it was 10.”

I just kept staring at her. She sighed briefly, pulled out a 10.00 from her fanny pack, and handed it to me. No look of remorse whatsoever. So what changed? I got older. I got taller than her. I wasn’t having it. I don’t think she even remembers me, but I wasn’t a tiny 6 year old anymore that she could easily take advantage of. That was the last time I bought something from that vendor.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this. If there’s a moral to my story, when people show you who they are, believe them.

I’m done.

Posted September 21, 2017 by StupidSystemus in Personal

My Injuries Come In Twos   Leave a comment

Last Friday, I lost my footing going up the stairs with my left foot. I caught myself with my right arm on the railing and the angle dislocated my shoulder again. It’s been two years since the last episode, so this was extra painful. I reduced it by lifting my right arm with my left over my head and pulled. It’s pain that makes you feel like fainting (tingling all over, vision gets blurry on and off like blood is rushing out of your head). Shoulder is fine now.

Come Monday morning, I woke up with pain on my left big toe. It was bearable on my way to work. It started to get painful when I got out of my car, heading to work. It feels like I sprained my big toe. I don’t remember hitting it yesterday or this morning. It’s possible it got hyperextended when I lost my footing on Friday and it just got worse for the last three days. Maybe I hit it this morning and just forgot because I just woke up.

Went to urgent care after work. They took X-rays. No fracture so that’s good. Physician couldn’t pinpoint the exact cause. She would test for gout, but they don’t do that at urgent care. Assuming it’s a sprain or possible turf toe, I just need to ice it for 15-20 minutes several times a day and keep it immobilized as much as I can. Physician also prescribed me Ultram for the pain cause I’m allergic to Advil and any aspirin. If the swelling is not going away and it’s red, it’s an ER issue for possible infection.

I’m getting old.

I’m done.

Posted August 28, 2017 by StupidSystemus in Personal