Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category

Memories from My Mix CD   Leave a comment

A coworker reminded me of the songs I listened to from college. I kept searching for it on Spotify, Pandora, and even Apple Music, but it appears the band’s album pre-2006 are not available for digital download/streaming. Tonight I couldn’t sleep and decided to dig up my CD Case wallet somewhere in my room. I still have mixes from 2000 in high school. The song is on YouTube and I even uploaded a Final Fantasy X music video of it using the song on my channel. I forgot if the song was even included in my mixes and I just wanted find out.

Mix 8 holds F.I.R.’s Our Love. I created this back in 2005-2006. This kind of became our theme song, my ex and I. I still have the song as one of my ringtones. I don’t have the song in my music library for sentimental reason. Listening to it again brings back memories and revisits old wounds. That’s how good this song is. It’s funny how songs bind itself to significant events in your life. It’s a very sentimental song about a love that is no longer there. It was odd being our theme song then, but at the same time, fitting.

It’s been over 10 years since my break up. I’ve moved forward. So did she. I hold no animosity towards the whole thing. I was dumb. Trash, really. I wish her the best and all the happiness in the world.

I’m done.


Posted July 17, 2019 by StupidSystemus in Musings, Personal

A Value Add   Leave a comment

I watched the latest episode on the current season of Billions, a Showtime network drama about the high-stakes world of hedge fund management and the corruption that the government is fighting both inside and out. Of the several ongoing storylines in the episode, two addressed the subject of a “value add.”

Bobby Axelrod, one of the main cast, partnered with a CEO for a joint venture with his Axe Capital company after learning of shady tactics involving undocumented immigrants on the custodial company, propping himself up as a “value add” only to screw over another hedge fund CEO for revenge. The company’s market value doubles from underhanded methods.

The second storyline involves a recently fired former Axe Capital employee seeking help from a friend, Mafee, who left Axe Capital to join the competition. Mafee informs his boss, Taylor Mason, of bringing onboard his friend. Taylor lets Mafee know that it is his decision and they trust him what’s best for the company. Mafee declines to hire his friend over drinks. He states that he does not think he’s better than his friend, but that he’s better at his job. His friend was a low performer at Axe Capital and he can’t justify hiring him.

This brings me to what happened at work. I just learned that a former team member who was removed from our project, under direction from our client, is no longer with the company. His last involvement with the project was two months ago. Management wanted to staff him with another project, but that didn’t happened. A few weeks after that, his access to the client machine expired and wasn’t renewed. He’s been spending most of his time on one of the company kiosk computers. I don’t know what he was doing, but he should have been looking for other jobs within the company or taking skill courses online for self-improvement. I don’t think he used that time wisely. That probably wouldn’t have changed anything, though.

He barely made any contribution to the team. He didn’t complete many of the assigned tasks or have too many excuses on why it’s taking so long. He also asked the client team on possibly working a few hours on the weekend, which meant working less than 8 hours on some days during the work week. That probably wasn’t well-received, especially for our line of work (what could you possibly do for a few hours on weekends that you can’t do during the work week?). That’s probably the last nail in the coffin and grounds for removal from the project. On the last week with the project, he made some updates which another team member was already working on to begin with, but it was too late. There’s no escaping the situation if the client does not see your value to the project.

A former team member (former team lead) early on was also removed from our project under direction from our client. That former team member was already working on another project so he’s safe. That former team member helped in bringing the recently laid-off co-worker onboard and are friends. That probably reflected badly on him. So it’s making me think twice about bringing a friend onboard the company. I have to be sure they are up to the task even if they are good people.

I’m done.

Posted March 26, 2019 by StupidSystemus in Musings

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Dinosaurs ALIVE! Exhibit   Leave a comment

A friend’s post on Facebook about a Jurassic dinosaurs exhibit reminded me of the time my mom took my sister and I to a similar exhibit, if I remember correctly, called “Dinosaurs ALIVE!” This was before the movie “Jurassic Park” came out in theaters.

Little me took it literally, thinking there were real dinosaurs in the exhibit. The only dinosaurs I’ve seen before then were on children’s books, “The Land Before Time” cartoon, and crude, old, stop-motion movies with dinosaurs in it.

Walking down the long corridor towards the exhibit, we could hear the dinosaurs roaring and screaming. I tightened my grip on my mom’s hand. I was “game” to go in, but my legs were shaky and felt like turning back. Then we went inside and saw the huge dinosaurs greeting us. They were just huge sculptures and animatronics with sounds.

I was both relieved and disappointed that the dinosaurs were not alive. I had fun exploring and reading the names of the dinosaurs and what they looked like. Ever since then, I’ve had a love or love relationship with dinosaurs and paleontology.

I’m done

Posted January 9, 2019 by StupidSystemus in Musings, Personal

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Death of Your Online Presence   Leave a comment

I find it off-putting making my first non-video related piece in a long time be about this topic. I’ve been contemplating this subject for a while now. This is similar to a person leaving all of their social media.

After Xanga’s demise, I thought about leaving blogging altogether. I created my WordPress account as an alternative placed by Xanga admins to importing archived posts to WordPress. It worked in a way, but posts with images are still linked to Xanga servers, which they were taking down to begin with.

Five years later, I’ve been more active on YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram. I have Twitter, snapchat, and trusty old Blogger. I mainly use WordPress and Blogger for cross-posting and sharing my creations on YouTube. Lots of platforms to be creative out there… until you don’t feel it anymore.

I don’t have a big following. Feedback is appreciated, but that’s not what’s driving me to create. For every video I make on YouTube or piece I write here, I’m improving and honing my skills. Lately, I just don’t have it in me to do these things anymore. It starts to feel like a chore. To put something out there for the principle (this post is an exception cause I really wanted to write this down).

So what would the death of my online presence be like? I know of two ways.

1. The Purge

The hoarder in me is the only thing preventing me from going about this route. It’s the most extreme example I can think of: Permanently deleting all social media accounts. All videos uploaded to YouTube? Gone. Instagram photos? Gone. Tweets? Gone. Everything is gone with or without saving backups. Online connections you don’t have a contact with offline? Gone and severed.

People have done this for privacy reasons, identity theft. Sometimes bullying. Or maybe you’re just fed up and realized how you respond and talk to people has completely changed, taking everything as a personal attack, enforcing your authority, etc.

2. Soft Reset

A soft reset is another term for a restart on a device (typically a smartphone), that closes all applications, clears RAM, and any unsaved data. Data stored on the harddrive is not affected.

A social media soft reset would be deactivating your Facebook accounts or privatizing all posts and shared media from friends, subscribers, with no updates. You can always go back to a deactivated Facebook account as if you never left. All your private posts are only viewable to you. You simply stop posting and end up being a lurker. With an active account, you still have access to your social media, but you don’t comment, leave a like, subscribe, retweet, etc. There are third-party versions of social media apps that completely masks your presence: read receipts, “Seen by” for Instagram stories, etc.

It’s not as drastic as a purge, but it’s the same idea of minimizing your online presence. Not entirely a death.


It’s really hard to do a complete purge, especially if your online presence is tied to you in real life. There are services online that lets you delete your accounts online. It will find all sites you have access to with all the emails you provide and ask if you want to delete them.

For Twitter or Instagram, if your account is not set to private (or was set to public at some point), chances are your tweets and photos have been crawled through by countless bots, aggregated by third-party sites, hashtags, metadata, and everything else replicated.

As an experiment, try googling your full name or social media username. Scroll past familiar search result and check all search results in subsequent pages. With my username, I found that several of my photos on Flickr have been used in online articles in different states or countries.

Some people have devious-feeling reasons for purging or minimizing their online presence. Which leads us to number three.

3. Rebirth

They want a fresh start. Free from their previous account(s) online presence or online presence in general. I wish I knew then, as a fellow pioneer of this new frontier called the World Wide Web, how precious and golden being completely anonymous is online.

This veers more towards conspiracy theory levels, but there are many legitimate reasons for remaining off-the-grid online. Top of all reasons being your privacy. With social engineering, it only takes a few keywords to find out where you live, your phone number, an email address, and your name. The more personal information you have out there linked to various sites (social media, banking, email, websites, etc.) the bigger your online footprint is.

On a grander scale, you could hire a lawyer and use a service to help remove your online presence as much as possible. There will always be remnants of aggregated data obtained by companies (mostly spam) that shared your info, but search results on your name/username moving forward will be minimal and whatever you or a company has on you that you put out online.

For social media, it’s using a completely different username with no ties to your older account. You can be fancy and roleplay a different set of likes/dislikes, hobbies, interests, etc. But that’s reserved for catfishers. Or simply start a new random account that doesn’t stand out. You can blend in with the crowd.

10-15 years ago, I can probably do a complete purge in heartbeat. Didn’t sign up to as many sites as I have now. Now, I have more real connections online. Some tend to be more annoying than most, but it’s like everybody else’s situation. They’re good people. This is our reality now. Our aging infrastructures just needs to keep up.

I’m done.

Posted August 28, 2018 by StupidSystemus in Musings

Your Grandparents’ Language   Leave a comment

I grew up with English, Cebuano (Visayan), and Tagalog spoken interchangeably around me. At an early age, I was accustomed to Visaya and English. In the 1st grade, Tagalog (Filipino) was taught as one of the subjects along with English. Having moved to the US, I’m more fluent now in English than Visaya (which we continue to speak in the house). I can still read Tagalog, but it requires more concentration on my part and digging deep to form a simple phrase coherent phrase.

My cousin and her family are now in the Philippines and visited my uncle. It’s the first time her toddler and baby have met their grandpa. I was looking through their pictures posted on Facebook and one of my uncle’s friends commented in deeply-rooted Visayan, which is like almost comparable to modern English and Old English. I could barely understand some of the words. It reminded me of my grandpa’s toast during my other uncle’s wedding, in which he spoke in old Visayan as well.

Spoken Visaya varies from region to region. The common thing between them is that it now has more borrowed words and phrases from Tagalog and English to make it easier to talk to everyone. It’s pretty much how modern and spoken English has evolved, with borrowed words and terms from other languages around the world. This is what makes English so hard to learn from speakers of other languages: it’s not consistent.

I read somewhere during the 2018 Winter Olympics that the joint North and South Korea women’s ice hockey teams needed English translators and a list of different vocabularies to understand each other. Almost 70 years since the split that their common language usage have diverged significantly.

I wonder how language will evolve in the next 50 years. Will we still talk to each other in English or emojis? Will we be communicating in image macros and memes?

I’m done.

Posted April 24, 2018 by StupidSystemus in Musings