Of Supes and Spidey   Leave a comment

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Metallo: I ran Superman’s face through a facial recognition scan. I found out his identity. He’s Clark Kent! He works at the Daily Planet.

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Lex Luthor: Yeah Metallo, we all know. Keep it to yourself.

Metallo: What? If everyone knows why isn’t it public?

Lex Luthor: Because if we make him keep his job it’s 8 hours less in the day he’s trying to stop us.

Metallo: But we could attack him when he least suspects it!

Lex Luthor: Why, you think he’s less bulletproof when he’s at home in his pajamas?

—————————————–
Spider-Man

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Eddie Brock: JAMESON! YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME! PETER PARKER IS SPIDER-MAN

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J. Jonah Jameson: Yeah, I know…

… What, you thought I didn’t know? Kid walks in, baggy clothes and a bunch of posing shots he couldn’t have possibly taken of anyone but himself? Of course it’s him, But I’m not gonna tell him.

Men this day and age don’t have the initiative and drive they used to. Girls break their heart, and what do they do? Post about it on their facespaces or mytwits, or whatever. And in walks a kid trying to make a difference, and some change, and you think I’m just going to pat the kid on the back? Hell no. Men crave competition, and and adversarial force to chase them on. I give the kid the works so he gives the city results. You tell a kid he’s doing well, and he gets bored. A Spider-Man can’t get BORED.

You, on the other hand, are what happens when everyone tells you you’re gonna be great, and then it doesn’t pan out. You had nowhere to go but down. And down you did. Is that thing even sanitary? You gave up after one case and got freaky with space goo? What sort of fabrege ego did you have?

I don’t have to tell Parker I believe in him to get him to be a hero. You needed approval to keep yourself from going insane. Who’s the real man of integrity and valor?

Now get the hell out of my office. I have tomorrow’s headline to pick, and you were fired eight years ago.

I’m done.

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